Relationship’s code (English)

Aug. 2, 2007

Why on earth is it so difficult to be in a relationship nowadays ??? It seems that our generation has lost the clues to « make it work ».

I’m planning to write a whole code about relationships 🙂 but I am definitely not an expert so I’d rather leave the subject open for us to « work » on it together.

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First thing : about honesty / being sincere from the top (about what U want or what U can offer) : here is what a friend sent me thru sms yesterday : « It seems our generation’s getting more and more in Superior College of Faking with an option in Pretending area : more and more women are faking orgasm because not having pleasure (even with bad f*** it seems not normal to them considering the noise women do in porn movies) / guys are confronted to more and more powerful women and they feel useless so pretending is a way to get back some power because they feel they control our feelings ». Could be a communication problem (everybody knows that men and women don’t speak the same language even if they use the same words) but could also be a problem of honesty : if you don’t want to take risks/to lose face/etc : you just pretend.

Worse : if one just doesn’t want to lose the opportunity to date (or have sex with) this (wo)man, one will pretend : « nope I have no problem with you datin’ other people while you’re datin’ me » (beeeeeeeeep) or « yes : I’ll be faithful to U » (beeeeeeeeeeep) : if you simply know that there are conditions you won’t be able to respect say it : be honest ! You may then lose the seduction game, so what ?!? It’s just a game !!! But hurting people isn’t and even before talking of pain : just don’t waste my time and energy please : RESPECT ME.

But of course it supposes that people express clearly what they want and don’t want : don’t expect to get any answer if you don’t ask the question first ! 🙂

I’ll be back.

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I’m back…

A few weeks ago I had that crazy sms exchange with « a friend », someone whom nothing ever happened with, whom I did not even gave any signal for him to think that he could talk to me like you’re gonna see he did… He text-messaged me asking if I were sleepin (at 3AM), which wasn’t the case… Chattin 2 minutes talkin about nothing that really matters (‘wassup’, ‘how are you’ blah blah)… as it was the night of my birthday I stupidely thought he was messaging about it… but nope. He finally told me quite sharply : ‘Im waiting for a mouth.’… I acted as if I didn’t understand he was about to talk about him and me having sex (…), asking if she was late, and he said ‘yes, you’re late’ and just gave me his address. Of course I didn’t go, and of course I told him in a very ironic tone that, as tempting as the offer sounded, I was definitely not horny enough on that very special night, turning that old, to wanna run into a taxi and hurry to his place in the early hours of the morning in the purpose of finishing on my knees for the sake of his willy… But it seemed that it wasn’t clear enough, as he answered later that he didn’t believe any word of that and that ‘mouths are made for dicks, dicks are made for pussies, and you know that’… As I told him I was supposed to be his friend, not his whore, and that I was very offended by his behaviour, although I was expecting him to be drunk or high – which wasn’t an excuse by the way -, he answered that nothing was offending in the fact that he was thinking about my mouth and how good he was sure one would feel inside it… I finally got rid of it by telling him that nobody’s welcome where he hasn’t been invited, and he just texted me the day after that to wish me happy birthday… I actually never received any apology for that night’s behaviour.

Why do I tell you that (faery ?) tale ? because, and that’s sad, it’s not the first time (at all) a man talks to a woman as if she was a whore – I actually do regret that I didn’t answer ‘of course, will be there in 10 minutes, here are the fees :…..’, just to see if it would have seemed natural to him to get that kind of answer – maybe he was expecting some kinda professional service ?

And what’s the moral of the story ? Hey guys… I know not all of you are like this one – I know even his own friends told me later on that he probably had driven nuts that time, but still… how do you expect us to feel comfortable in the seduction game if it turns that way even when there’s NO seduction game ???? If a friend of mine sees me as a sexual object, as a professional hooker, as just « a mouth », when I haven’t given him any signal to think I even feel something else than friendship for him, or maybe some light flirting (not even sure about that), how would I even dare seduce some guy ? What will he think if I smile to him ? If I play all the little ‘I like you, you know’ games ? That he can just take me, because I’m just looking for sex ?.

What are nowadays’ guys thinking about women, for God’s sake ?!?!?!